Anxiety

Depression and anxiety can be crippling. I have been battling it daily with some small success for what feels like forever. I have good days and bad which are related to numerous factors. My mother and her belittling comments and second guessing my parenting cause huge anxiety, my husband causes me anxiety, my dog and her standoffish-ness to people and how they are around her causes me a stupid amount of anxiety, my daughter and keeping her safe causes me anxiety. These anxieties and more have been draining and have caused me to take less care of myself, mentally and physically. If someone is drained they can not take care of others as well as they could if they were recharged, as you cant pour from an empty cup.

So what can be done for this? CHANGE I feel is the answer to finding a way to recharge. If I wasn't anxious then things wouldn't need to change and by choosing to not change, (this is also a decision) its accepting those fears and giving them more power than I should allow in my life. So I am working at them one step at a time to build a new and happier healthier me. The first step I am working towards is signing up for driving lessons which could mean a whole new freedom for me. I want to be able to go, I want to camp, to visit my dad, my husband and hike with my daughter and fur baby. I want to be able to go and not worry or feel like a burden. Another thing I plan on doing is taking better care of me. Today for instance I had my legs and under arms lazered to remove the hair. It was great. I cant wait to see the results. I have another 5 sessions to go! Another thing I plan on doing is a business Venture! I am so excited with this one but am not going to speak of it yet but it will keep me working productively!

You may wonder how revamping myself is going to help with my anxiety? Well it wont cure it, but I expect it might help as it will help me to make some changes in my life, to try new things and possibly even grow as a person and meet new people. While cleaning up my life may be a small first step for me in battling my anxiety, it is a step. It is seeing a light a the end of the tunnel, it is embracing change, it is a way to love me again and let me relax, and it is building an outlet for me to focus on when I am anxious so I don't just stay paralyzed with anxiety. This is my first step forward to freedom and a happier me.

So after reading above it looks like I am searching for a life ring. The fundamentals seem to be I feel trapped by my current circumstances, I am unhappy, I do not take pride in myself anymore, my relationships are crumbling and important people in my life have become draining, I worry constantly about my baby and fur baby and I feel like I am not being challenged in a way that I want and that my needs, wants and dreams are being sidelined constantly.

I am giving myself until September 5th 2016 to make a large change and course of action before doing any drastic changes.

So here are my smaller goals

I will loose 30 pounds
I will go out once a week for a treatment of some sort
I will set 3 small household goals a day
I will set one larger goal a day
I will do something awesome with my daughter every day